The Endlessness of Guilt and Relief to Peace and Fear Nots

Quote from Poser, My Life In Twenty-Three Yoga Poses by Claire Dederer:

"Now that I've been doing yoga for ten years, I'm tempted to say something wise, such as: I was ready to wean and my body made the decision for me. But back then I didn't believe in that kind of crap. Instead, I paddled around in a complicated gumbo of guilt and relief."

How I can relate to this gumbo! It's been about guilt since my teens and I tried to throw all guilt away in my mid twenties until my early thirties which only led to much regret. It was balance that I was missing. I went from the extreme of legalistic Christianity where everything is tainted with evil to this kind of anti-morality which I thought was freedom, but only left me very hurt and raw for true love. It's not about the guilt of sin or the relief of unbridled freedom...these are both in equal measures, bondage...at least that is how it has been for me.

Jesus talks a lot about peace and not being afraid. This kind of peace that He gives hangs on trust in His deep magic as C.S. Lewis calls it which is culminated in a love so unconditional that He died for the souls of every person despite their acceptance or disregard for Him and in that love there are no harsh commands and iron rod lordship, but only the gentle knocking on the heart to be friends with Him ~ friends who love to make each other happy!